MY 48-Hour Rule

My 48-Hour Rule

Human beings are complex and unique creatures with sophisticated abilities to protect themselves and adapt to the challenges of new environments. However, specific tools and techniques can speed the recovery from emotional injury and lead to a healthier life. Wrapped in that belief is the 48-Hour Rule.The 48-Hour Rule dictates an allowance of no more than 48 hours following an incident. During that time I can react however I want (within the law) to deal with the situation at hand. I can scream for hours, I can cry like a baby, go into a jealous rage, or be angry and vengeful. For 48 hours I’ll allow myself to take on those emotions and an array of others without feeling guilty. I’ll even allow myself to succumb to self-pity or to digress into a state of depression or even as far as to operate in a state of denial or to booze it up to numb the pain as long as I don’t risk harming others. BUT, when the clock strikes that 48th hour, it’s time to MOVE ON.Beyond the 48-hour allotment it is time to change perspective on the situation. Whether it was a job you didn’t get, a love you lost, distressing news about your health you received or a friend that betrayed you in the worst way—it’s all history. My 48-hour rule mandates that there is no longer an excuse to just vent and self-destruct to the point of not moving on with a productive life. Faced with the inability to change the past or relive it, we must instead move to put to rest hurtful incidents in their proper places and times. I can not overemphasize how crucial it is to separate the past and the future from the present. We cannot predict or control the future no matter how much we stress over it. However, we can live in the moment and enjoy the present while working hard to take small steps each day toward a brighter future.The 48-hour rule is all about living in the present! It’s about drawing your focus away from the incident and directing it toward healing. Keep in mind you shouldn't’ spend too much time focusing on the future either. Don’t start worrying about the next relationship or the effect on the next job. The profound work The Precious Present by Spencer Johnson wholly captures the need to enjoy the gift of “the present[a1] .” I believe in this notion with all my heart and after mentoring and life coaching for over twenty-five years, one of my signature platforms is helping people to appreciate the present. I am quick to blast my friends with one of my favorite quotes (adapted from Ernestine Ulmer’s): Life is often short and unpredictable so I’m going to have dessert first. Like the 48-Hour Rule, this quote urges us to live in the present. Life was meant to be enjoyed as we go along rather than waiting for some past memory to come back to life or delaying self-gratification until you achieve all your goals at some distant point in the future.I have employed the 48-Hour Rule for almost twenty years now and it has served me well. It is uncanny how many times my family and friends question me as to how I maintain my resilience and positive attitude in the face of numerous challenges. My answer even today is…MY 48-HOUR RULE! Even though you may still feel the hurt, sadness or abandonment, these emotions are no longer your primary focus—they are no secondary. You have the power to implement this rule into your life. Stand up to the past and proclaim victory by refusing to become or remain a victim of your past. Hold your head up, reject the victim mentality and adopt a state of mind that is positive and hopeful. “Fake it until you make it” is how you get there. You have to visualize yourself as the person you are striving to be and take steps toward building a life free of baggage from your past to help facilitate the transformation from victim to survivor.Do you have a need to let go of the past or let go of situations that are counter productive?Do you have friends or family members that could use this rule?Do you have a co-worker or associate that has their whole life ahead of them but they seem to dwelling in the past constantly rather than enjoy the present?Well, today is a great day to share this blog with them so they can finally put things in it's proper place...in the past! I hope to hear your feedback about this posting and let me know if you see a difference in anyone that you past it onto. I have more detail about this subject coming soon in my book "Armed & Ready...To Live" Also let me know if you are interested in more info about the book.